Can I shoot myself now?

Recent events have led me to believe that I might just want vanish off the face of the earth in the near future, like when my kids become teenagers! Don't get me wrong, I love my children. I am sure most of you understand how precious little ones are.

This past week, today, SHE is NOT precious. SHE is EVIL! The SHE I am referring to is my lovely daughter, Tabitha. She seems to have found a new hobby here at the "baby house". It involves markers (usually the permanent kind), pens, or anything else that can make permanent marks, like say, LIPSTICK!

It all started a week or so ago with a dry erase marker. Your thinking right now, "How bad could that be, it's erasable". This is what she did with it:

Then, I got her up from a nap one day only to discover that she was covered from head to toe in pen! Somehow she had stowed a nice blue pen in her bed before nap time and preceded to draw all over her legs, arms, neck, stomach, hand and face. Oh, the wall and bed rails got it too. The next day I realized that Dora had gotten the same treatment! I was so furious I didn't even take a picture of her covered in ink. But here is Dora:

In case anyone needs to know, NO, pen does not come off Dora. Oh . . . I was sooooo mad!

So now here is the kicker. I was on the phone with my Mom and Tabitha was doing something she shouldn't so she was sent to timeout. I was sitting on the couch watching her, talking . . . She was literally out of my sight for 6 seconds, maybe. I turned and looked at her and I realized she had somehow manged to find my makeup bag. In that short span of time she had drawn ALL OVER the floor in red lipstick and concealer and given the kitty a nice coating of mascara. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What did I do to deserve this?

I don't even know how I will begin to survive her teenage years. Boarding school maybe?